God, this high…! 🔥🔥🔥

Today, I was a gladiator.

It goes like this.
One of my investors had invested a sum of capital in 2017. Time went by, and I did my best. A month ago, he came at home and asked why our portfolio hasn’t doubled since covid crisis.* This was not a curiosity question, this was a blaming question. I knew exactly what he was saying. I said to him – Our portfolio hasn’t doubled since covid crisis, because it hadn’t been halved in the covid crisis. We never took any risk, and that paid off in the covid crisis. It was like this. For others, 100 became 50 in covid, and then doubled and became 100 again after covid. For us, it was like 100 were 100, because we’ve had already hedged, and it went on steady to become 120. We never take any risks. Even though we didn’t double, but we ultimately gained.
*He didn’t come alone. He brought his wife along to discuss business. He didn’t even have the guts to come alone. What a zandu personality!

He was already brainwashed. He was not ready to accept any logic.

Then he contacted me yesterday to withdraw his amount. I readily accepted and proceeded to withdraw. Then he argued about my profit sharing, which is 80/20. Obviously, I am taking the incentive only after making him profitable. He started to bargain and he was not ready to give me my incentive. He started to quarrel and use a loud voice and all the things an uneducated person does. Obviously, I can cut it from his portfolio and give him back the remaining amount. But… … …

Before but, let me give you some background.
He lived in our house as a tenant for 7 years. And all the 7 years, we were a nice landlords. His wife has been coming at our home since previous 25 years. I helped him when I was in Nagpur. I helped him with many online purchases. Everywhere and every time, we were nice to him. Always. Also, he is a professor, an educated person. And all he was haggling for was ₹30,000/-. Isn’t it amazing…! His terms were – out of the ₹47,000/-, he would give me only ₹17,000/-.

If anyone had given me a choice to take ₹30,000/- and I’d be ashamed for my whole life, obviously, I would have passed it without even blinking. Leave ₹30,000/-, try paying me 3 million for real and you’d know that I will light it up for sure…! Self-respect, earned, hard-worked, risk-taking self-respect never has a price…!

Obviously, I have had choices. One of which would have been to fight over legality and my whole incentive. Other choice would have been to accept the 17,000/- to not let things go further. To not let that uneducated man show more of his bottom. To accept relationship over money.

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I was on my heaviest squat set, 160kg. The phone rung on my 5th rep. I knew who it was. I continued till failure and completed 7 reps. I picked up the phone.
He said, “So what have you decided?”
I said, “I’ll transfer the amount.”
He said, “How much?”
I said, “The whole.”
He was stunned. He asked, “What do you mean by whole?”
I said, “I won’t even take a rupee as an incentive.”
He had his tail between his legs. He said, “No, This is not what I meant. I am coming over your place. blah blah blah…”
I said, “There is no need to meet now, or ever.”
I said, “Your money is in your account even before finishing this call. Full money. Have it. I don’t want money of an uneducated, distrusting person.”
He asked me, “You are out of breath.”
I said, “I am in the gym, you are not allowed to disturb me, ever.”

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God, I felt like a LION, A ROARING LION… … …!!! The feeling, unique, novel, once in a lifetime feeling!

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₹47,000/- is a very little money to feel like a Lion. That dirtiness was in my life for previous many years. I helped that dirtiness with my morality and happiness. For ₹47,000/-, that dirtiness will never ever touch me again.

Adios…

After a short hiatus, let’s resume.

I have been busy since Nov 20. To be true, I continued my work, my routine, the life I created, till 28 Nov – with the new life dallying in slowly. But since then, my routine went haywire. Even I had no time to let my thoughts linger. Everything came with a force. First was pre-wedding rituals, then came wedding and post wedding rituals, then came the road-trip. Along with it, there have been the weddings of my two cousin brothers after the road-trip.

So after a month or so, I will resume my study, my readings, my workouts. My long sessions of thinking and doing nothing. My Meditations. My Coffee.

My Coffee… … …

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Today, my cut ended. I started my cut on Sep 19. I weighed exactly 80.0kg. I started tracking weight since Sep 21, because first few days are water loss mostly. This time, I went heavy with my cut only through the diet. I did very little cardio for the weight loss. I may have done only 5-6 sessions of 30 mins walk in this cut. I made sure that I was having at least 160g of protein daily. I lost very little strength in the workouts because of the protein intake. I weighed and tracked my food daily. They say you can’t be a pure-vegetarian. Come, Meet Me, Pure-Vegetarian with chiseled abs…!

This cut has been awesome. Those killer hunger pangs, those deadly workouts, patience, anxiety, and the ultimate test of resilience – I was high always…!

Screams, mental strength, physical strength, patience! Everything is possible in this world.

I did not do it for the chiseled abs or the chiseled jawline, they came naturally because of the cut.

Can you die? Can you live…? I am addicted to the deaths. Life always comes after it.

Here you go, the google sheet of my weight-loss…!
Sheet (You may have to zoom out the sheet a bit, as I edit that sheet on PC.)

Come On…! COME ON….!!!

1:21 –
RJ: It’s my life man!

3:13 –
He: One big (rev)? One…
RJ: You wanna piss off everybody in the street?
He: I don’t mind!
RJ: I don’t care..!

4:07 –
He: Where’re you from?
RJ: From Earth!
RJ: I drew a line…!
RJ: I do it for the love of these. Not for me. … … … I just love riding, and I wanna portray that. Because people go and say I am depressed … I say go try a bike…

Every morning, every night – I ruminate, I think that ‘if this may be my last day, may it be.’

I have been weak, always. Fragile, ethereal – always holding onto strands. I know it, I feel it, I accept it. But I have always been brave.

And that is not only about one aspect of the life, every aspect.

I may have cried, I may have sobbed, I may have felt caterpillars in my stomach – but I never flinched, I never backed down, always held my shoulders high…!

I scream. Not because of the fragility, but because of the strength I push.

Vamos…!

Is it my speakers?
Or is it the coffee?
I am unsure about both of the above, but
It surely is the beauty.

The songs of Shershaah movie are infusingly beautiful…!

Everything of work-in-progress looks damn messy…
What are you being messy for is the most important thing…!