How many lives do we live…? Reality is the most unreal thing. We can not see reality by living inside it. Once you step outside, all the other lives you live become unreal. We live many lives.

This weekend, I took my motorcycle for a long road-trip. God, I was in love – with my motorcycle, with the roads, with that open exploration, that feeling.
The other reality – my studies, workouts, meditations – everything seemed unreal to me.
I met some friends, we chilled out in a cafe – in that reality, other realities seemed unreal – even my road-trip reality too.

What was special? In these previous 3 days, I have been through many novel experiences, and every reality was a stark different to every other reality – as if I am changing from white to black and black to orange and orange to teal.

They say cats have seven lives. That may be true. But we have so many lives. Every life is a reality. And every reality is not really real.

Adios…

There is no substitute to hard-work.

Today, I went to swim. I may have swum after 3 years. When I unclothed myself, everyone was stunned there. I became an instant celebrity there. Everyone asked how…!? I smiled in the most humble way, I said thanks, and swam peacefully.

Hard-work. Waking up every morning with a strong heart and putting all the effort you can in a day. May it be the workouts, may it be the study, may it be the business. Being insane each and every day. Being a monster each and every day, in doing anything you do. And at the same time, being as innocent and as humble as you are…!

Motivation, education, knowledge – all are supportive, only actions pay off.

Do you know that a single drop, falling again and again – again and again, again and again – can cut the mountains!? I am that single drop…!

Hard-work, every loud scream, every suppressed scream, every pillow sob, and every suicidal anxiety – every f***ing thing, makes you who you are…!

Be the Michelangelo, who sculpts his own David…!

Link
Wiki

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about…”

Rumi

I fight. I am a warrior. I never have had the strength to fight, yet I find every last drop of strength to fight.

I wonder if why do I have to fight always!? Why do I have to fight always…!? I wonder why don’t I get anything without fighting…!? I wonder why…!? What do I do wrong…!? I strive, I seek, I always struggle to be the deserving one… Am I not the deserving one!? Am I merely the one who don’t deserve, however I try…!?

My dear readers, I know I am not writing these days. I have a lot of inspiration to write, but when I sit down to type, I freeze.

But don’t worry, I promised myself to post at least 1 personal post each week. So for the next few weeks, till my inspiration comes back, bear with my writing quality. I am striving for beauty too.

Aug 2018, 3 years ago, I stepped in the gym for the first time. I don’t know why. I guess I wanted to kill myself. I deadlifted 20kg the first time – and stuck on a 20kg deadlift for 3 months. After the workouts, I used to look like I had lifted 100kg deadlift. The guys of the gym used to mock me, laugh at me.

May 2020, I lifted my first 100kg deadlift. I thought I was the king of the world. /Nobody is the king of the world, I was wrong to think that/. I thought that I have had come so far.

Jan 2021, I deadlifted 150kg for the first time. This time, I never thought that I am the king of the world. I was happy and content and filled with humility.

In Feb 2021, that neural fatigue came, I hovered on a 130kg deadlift.

April 2021, as I was progressing towards 150kg deadlift again, I got infected with Covid-19. After recovering from Covid-19, I started my deadlifts from 120kg again.

Yesterday, I pulled a 160kg Deadlift, highest ever of my life! 160kg of Squat, highest ever of my life. 90kg of Bench Press, highest ever of my life.

---

What motivated me to reach these levels, I don’t know. I can tell you how I did it. Progressing is never a single big push. It is the addition of the tiny little drops, day by day, each day, bored day, elevated day, suicidal day, and euphoric day. But that every single tiny little drop, that do matter. What got me here is the discipline I followed, the care I took of myself, the inexhaustible hunger for the pain (and in return the hunger for waiting for something big).

---

Now, I don’t need to go in any gym to prove myself. Because those who mocked me, I forgive you. And I don’t wanna inspire you with me coming into the gym. Because those who mocked me, don’t deserve inspiration.

This…!